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A few years ago I made a commitment to end my yoyo fitness habit. Before that, I cycled fairly predictably between flabby and fit, depending on my mood and my current “man situation.” I decided to love and take care of the one body that had stuck with me through (literally) thick and thin: my own.

As with any courtship, kindness works better than abuse, so I started by treating my body with some love and respect. Here are three things I did that may help you swoon your body into loving you back:

1) Make peace with your body. It’s not your enemy. It’s your friend, so be nice to it, and say nice things to it. When you want to complain about your body, remember that you are wonderfully made. Instead of “I hate my legs” thank your legs for taking you to all the places you have been and will go. Promise them you will strengthen them for the journey to follow.
2) Start slowly. I can’t over stress this. I don’t use an alarm clock because I hate to be jolted awake. It turns out my body feels the same way! If you’ve been sedentary for a long time, don’t expect your body to react well to an evil taskmaster attitude from you. Instead of trying to kill your body in the gym to make up for the months or years you’ve neglected to work out, take it for a nice, not a marathon, walk, or dance with it. One minute of cardio will speed up your metabolism for an hour.
3) If you want a sleek physique, promise your body you will learn what it needs to thrive, and start feeding it that stuff instead of the junk you’ve been stuffing into your mouth. Be gentle with change and introduce healthy habits one at a time. Give up the fast food breakfast. End your late night love affair with your fridge. But don’t hate yourself too much if you MUST have that (small) bag of Cheddar Jalapeño Cheetos to ease your P.M.S. Just sayin’.

My body has reacted quite favorably to gentle consistent changes. We are now one.